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The breast-beating business, it appears, is booming. Instead, we start with an anti-aging treatment that Madam Boob Slapper hopes will be more effective. Her offerings include face slapping, breast slapping, and shoulder and butt punching "Gays love butts," she confides. She is careful to devote each day of the week to a different body part. One slightly-built TV presenter's hopes for a bigger bust were dashed with the declaration, "No future! As the blows begin to fall, I shriek and squirm. Turning to a stereo, she switches on a track and begins to move in a choreographed routine to its beat, hitting her own face rhythmically with varying strokes.

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Lylah. Age: 27.
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She claims to count models and TV personalities among her clients, and her students have appeared on Good Morning America and The Doctors.

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Crystal. Age: 22.
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Beauty with value," she declares majestically. Later, as she escorts me to the waiting taxi, she rushes to open its door. One slightly-built TV presenter's hopes for a bigger bust were dashed with the declaration, "No future!

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